Ever look in the face of your past and realize quite unexpectedly that no matter who wronged who
or why way back then, you feel nothing at all except unconditional love for someone who meant
something at one time in your life?
That recently happened to me. When did I become so evolved? Riding around with everything
else on my mind, I turned my head and saw him. The face of my past. Conversation; silly and
meaningless. How do you bombard someone after years and years of no contact with questions
about their life? How do you squeeze in an intrusive but sincere inquisition to your apparent
disinterested past of:
Who are you now?
How has it been for you?
What have you learned?
What do you hope for your tomorrows?
Are you fascinated by anything? What works? What doesn't for you? What thrills you?
Nope. Can’t ask those questions…. Instead I take the normal and acceptable route. “Wow, you
look great, exactly the same”, and “Boy, your kids have grown!”, and of course since I can hear the
ridiculousness of my words I give in to my natural nervous giggle. But I forgive myself this unease.
Shoot, it was the face of my past standing a foot away from me for crying out loud!
It’s true. I loved them all. Even the one or two I am tempted to omit; I loved them all. None were
bad people. All were trying out this human experience and sometimes, its not painless for anyone
involved.
I wish them all the love this particular woman did not, could not or flat refused to give the way they
wanted. None were bad people. Neither was I. I was trying out my own experience taking
instruction from a very warped and sometimes encrypted manual. I have since discovered a
handbook that I can actually read and that makes at least a little bit of sense to me.
I loved them all, even the little girl so lost. She did not always get the best love from me.
I am satisfied to know that,,,,
…in my life, I loved them all……
and now to be super-corny, here are the lyrics and a link, to Bette Midler’s version of that Beatles
song that, in part, inspires this writing:
Click HERE to hear and see.
There are places I remember
all my life, though some have changed.
Some forever, not for better.
And some have gone, and some remain.
All these places have their moments
with lovers and friends I still can't recall.
Some are dead and some are living.
In my life I love them all.
But of all these friends and lovers,
there is no one compares with you.
And these memories lose their meaning
when I think of love as something new.
Though I know I'll never ever lose affection
for people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I love you more.
Though I know I'll never ever lose affection
for people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think of them.
But in my life I loved you more.
I love you more.
I love you more.